It was massive, I could see the great big blue wall coming at me.It was like a tsunami.
I was shaking in the water, and it wasn’t cold. I paddled as hard as I could. As it caught me I stood up on my board and went along the wave face.
This was great! I couldn’t believe how awesome this was. I smiled and relaxed.
I was riding along and then suddenly… WHAM! I went under and couldn’t do or see anything, all I saw was black. “Am I dead?” I thought. I struggled and fought the sea and then I could breathe! I gasped and breathed in the salty sea air.
I was lying in knee deep water and I was alive!
I stood up and grabbed my surfboard. I stumbled up the beach and collapsed.
Ethan, the personal voice you have included has such impact, I feel wet, bruised and exhausted as I read. This is not just a read, it's an experience!
ReplyDeleteMay I please copy this work to display in the library as an example of the - not good, but great writing we look for in a book?
Mrs Cameron
ReplyDeleteSure. I'm happy you enjoyed my writing
Thanks, Ethan
Dear Ethan,
ReplyDeleteI loved your post!!!! especially the part when in the story, your still clinging on to life. Honestly I think this is the best story I've read by a milestone. Next can you try to do a complete story.
Thanks, Owen Online
https://owenonlinep.edublogs.org/
Awesome writing Ethan i loved the part when it said WHAM! i went under Awesome personal voice.
ReplyDeleteFrom Logan